


rest your head for just five minutes, everything is good

by barelyprolific



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Episode: s15e16 Blood and Water Coda, Fluff and Angst, M/M, POV Nico Kim
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-14 17:43:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18057146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/barelyprolific/pseuds/barelyprolific
Summary: Nico attempts to meditate, but really just worries about the future.





	rest your head for just five minutes, everything is good

It’s raining again. It’s always raining in Seattle. Nico had been warned, in that vague way everyone is warned, that it’s always raining in Seattle, but the warning never really prepares a person. No matter the warning.

Nico is getting used to it. The rain. He comes from an area where seventy degrees on Christmas is chilly. Rain makes people crazy, in Nico’s experience.

That probably explains the insanity that is Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital. The place is like high school--the kind of high school on shitty teen dramas playing out the same basic, boring, straight love stories over and over. Ad Nauseum, Ad Infinitum. Not that Nico is above it all. He’s got an intern asleep in his bed, an intern who is his boyfriend. Who just told Nico that he loves him. That Nico is his first love.

Nico has no idea what the fuck he’s doing.

He wanted the fellowship with Doctor Lincoln because Link is good. He’s one of the best. and he had a job working for the Seattle Mariners. Nico’s wanted to do sports medicine since he was a kid; Link is the best person he could learn from, and at first, the prospect of his fellowship year at Grey-Sloan, where so many of the country’s best doctors have gotten their start or worked at, was an exciting one.

How anyone learns anything at that hospital, though, Nico doesn’t know.

Sighing, he shifts his weight, rolls his neck. He should be in bed. Levi is in his bed, warm and soft, asleep and sated. Levi loves him, and he loves Levi. He does.

Nico wasn’t supposed to find the love of his life during his fellowship year. It wasn’t supposed to be an intern. He wasn’t supposed to be the love of his life’s _first love_. Which is why he isn’t in bed, is sitting on the rug in front of his altar, while Levi sleeps in the next room. The flickering flame of the candle in front of him is supposed to help Nico focus his thoughts, but it only distracts him more, and all its proclaimed calming scent is doing is giving him a headache.

Groaning, Nico rubs his palms against his eyes, flops backwards with his legs still crossed. His bare back hits the cool wooden floor, and he shivers a little, raises his hands over his face to study them. A surgeon’s hands. Hands Nico has worked so hard to train. He’s so close. So close to making it, to achieving a goal that has been two decades in the making.

So where does Levi fit into that goal?

Levi’s going to pass his exams, live out his residency. Pick a specialty and settle in to a life at Grey-Sloan Memorial. Levi grew up in Seattle. His mother lives there, his friends all work there for the moment. If Nico gets a job for a team across the country, does he give it up?

A part of Nico thinks it’s too soon to be thinking about anything so serious. There are still months left in his fellowship, and their relationship isn’t going to stay idyllic forever. They’re going to fight, eventually. Really fight. Nico is going to disappoint him.

Levi’s always gushing about how amazing he is, but really, Nico’s not. When Levi realizes that, is he still going to love Nico? Or will he see death traps all on his own?

What does Levi want, in all of this?

Does Nico really need to wonder about his future with Levi, and make plans around him? Knowing the risk?

“That doesn’t look comfortable.”

Nico drops his hands, tilts his head back to look at the doorway to his living room. Levi is standing here, leaning against it in olive green sweats and nothing else. His hair is sticking up wildly, eyes still soft, unfocused without contacts or glasses.

Sitting up with a quiet grunt, Nico shakes his head, turns around to look at Levi properly. “You should go back to bed. You have to be at the hospital in six hours.”

“I got restless without you.” Levi pads forward, pauses at the edge of the rug. He’s always so respectful of Nico’s spirituality, it makes his heart ache. Nico reaches up, offers him a hand. Levi takes it, slides into Nico’s lap with familiar grace. His arms wrap around his neck, murky eyes searching Nico’s. “You okay?”

“Fine.” Nico leans forward, presses his forehead to Levi’s. “Thinking.”

“About?” Biting his bottom lip, Levi glances down. “Is it--was the ‘I love you’ too much, now that the moment’s passed and you’re looking at it with a clear head?”

“No,” Nico assures him quickly. “I meant what I said and I know you did too.”

“Then...what is it?”

“I’m thinking about...the future.”

Levi is silent for so long, Nico wonders if maybe he said too much. Then Levi shifts, tucking himself closer, resting his head under Nico’s chin. His legs wrap around his back. “I had a family come in today. A couple and their daughter.” Levi pauses, clarifies, “A gay couple and their daughter. Their teenaged daughter. They used a surrogate, and they mixed their sperm so that they wouldn’t know whose she was. And when I found that out, my first thought was-- _that would only work for Nico and I if our surrogate was Korean._ Which of course she would have to be anyway.” Levi pulls back, then, to look into Nico’s eyes again. “Whatever you’re thinking about the future, I’ve probably already thought about it. To death.”

Oddly enough, that’s all the reassurance Nico finds he needs. He tugs Levi a little closer, bare chests pressed against each other, Levi's chest hair slightly prickly against Nico's smooth skin. “That surgery you got kicked off of? I had to spend the entire time listening to Jo freak out about having kids, while Avery tried to convince her it was a good idea.” Nico rolls his eyes as Levi laughs a little.

“Serves you right.”

“I should have stuck up for you.”

“I get why you didn’t. I was mad at the time, but...if you had, you would just have been proving her right. I know how important professionalism is to you.”

“It’s not as important to me as you. Which...is terrifying.”

Levi smiles, small, sweet, cheeks reddening slightly. His fingers start combing through Nico’s hair, restless.

“I don’t want to have kids until I’m married,” Nico murmurs, his eyes slipping closed again. Levi hums.

“I don’t want to get married until I’m at least a fellow.”

“That’s a long way away. A lot could happen to change your mind.”

“A lot could happen to change yours.”

Nico shakes his head. “You said I’m your first love. Before I met you, Levi, I had given up on finding love again. You made me believe in love again.” It’s not quite the same, but Nico hopes Levi will understand what he means. From the way he subtly sucks in his breath, maybe he does.

“Let’s go back to bed. We can worry about the future in the morning, and for the rest of our lives.”

Nico nods, even as he realizes that he’s not worried about the future, not really. He’s going to pick Levi.

Whatever happens, as long as Levi picks him, Nico’s going to pick Levi.


End file.
